When Life Knocks You Down

For four months, I rode the wave of uncertainty as my brain slowly regained connection after my concussion. The dizziness stopped me from walking and living everyday life. Not to mention, coordination and comprehension felt like impossible tasks. But that wasn't the most challenging part. The worst part of this whole ordeal was the fear of the unknown and not feeling myself again post-health crisis—the person I was before my head injury. 

Post-concussion syndrome wasn't on my bingo card. 

If you've dealt with a health condition resulting in health anxiety, you know the gloom and suspense. It hovers and crawls into every corner of your life. You fear everything from simple tasks to the worst-case scenarios. As someone who experiences generalized anxiety, I'm not immune to rumination. But when something unexpected occurs, it feels like I'm back to square one. 

Luckily, anxiety didn’t linger and heighten, not this time.

When life knocks me down or slides off course, my mind shuts down, but my soul remembers what to do next.

I lay alone in my dark bedroom under the sheets, letting myself feel all the pent-up emotions. Evening worship music breathes truths into my ear and soothes my spirit. After the overwhelm fades and tears run empty, I remind myself that God is still my strength.

He's still with me in the pits of my despair. He's with me through every dark depression and obstacle that comes my way. Even on my worst days, I know God is helping me, even when I don't feel healed. 

When I feel off balance in the shower or feel head pressure from working, normalcy feels far away. Walking side-by-side with my husband isn't easy, but firmly holding onto his arm keeps my worries at bay. 

As much as my body wants to heal, I know I'm a work in progress. I've learned life lessons, like patience. Historically, taking real breaks involving putting my phone down isn't my strong suit. But thanks to eye strain and many other health symptoms, perhaps God is showing me all the new ways I need to slow down. 

Not slowing down is what got me in here in the first place.

As much as I regretted my clumsiness, which resulted in doctors' bills, missed opportunities, and months of physical therapy, I couldn't redo the past. There are no take-backs. It isn't easy to remain strong and hopeful, but that's the point. I know that I can't do it on my own. 

We don't have to go through struggles alone.

We may have health issues or new anxieties. Many of us are going through a rough patch we didn't foresee coming. For me, I often look to the Psalms for restoration.

The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.

Psalm 28:7 (ESV)

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalm 73:26 (ESV)

Lately, I find myself meditating on Psalm 28:7 throughout the day. The Lord is my strength. Those words are simple, powerful, and calm my overbearing thoughts.

Hardships are never-ending, but the Lord's promises remain the same.

Overcoming struggle is a complex fix. It's a constant battle. It may take time, patience, and prayers along the way. There will be peaceful days and chaotic days ahead. You may fear the worst. Or, you may feel like your brain and body won't repair. 

When life knocks you down, it's okay to rest in your human emotions. But in moments of doubt, trust in God's devotion.

Hope through Jesus is your anchor through the storm.